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:iconrae-rae-666: More from Rae-Rae-666





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November 24, 2005
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Chapter One:  A Glimpse of Things to Come

Seti woke with a start.  He had heard a female screaming, and jumped up to find her.  He lied back down when he realized the screaming had come from his nightmare.  The voice was familiar, but he never saw the young girls face.  All he could see was the Egyptian sun beating down on the sand as a girl fell to her knees and began screaming.  It bothered him some nights, to see this poor girl in pain, and he knew nothing of what to do.  Seti wished he could see her face.

He rolled over onto his back and looked above him at the ceiling.  His accommodations now were much better than a year ago when he was twelve.  Now he was thirteen, and the Royal temple painter.  He had lived in the Palace since he was five years old.  The Pharaoh had taken him away from his mother and father as punishment for a crime they had committed.  Could his mother be the woman in his dream screaming?  It would make sense; Seti couldn’t remember what she looked like.  However, this girl seemed to be far to young to be his mother.  This girl was his age, if not younger.  Seti yawned and turned back over on his side.  He fiddled with his Ankh, and placed it on his pillow, next to his head.  He remembered a year ago, cleaning and scrubbing walls for the Pharaoh, till his hands would bleed.  Then one day, it all changed.  The Pharaoh had been looking for a brand new horse for his daughter Neferititi, and brought someone who soled them into the palace.  Seti watched from behind the corner as the Pharaoh tried out many horses for his daughter.  When it came time to pay, he noticed the merchant trying to steal from the Pharaoh.  After Seti told Rameses about what the merchant tried to do, the Pharaoh had awarded him by letting him live in the Palace.  Shortly after that, Seti discovered his talent with paint.

Seti sighed as he thought of Neferititi.  She was beautiful, and she often wrote Seti secret notes.  She would tie them to her cat’s collar, and send her cat down the temples to Seti.  He loved getting her notes.  He had only seen her a few times, and she would give him playful glances when their eyes met.  Seti fell in love with her almost instantly.  Then, his heart became heavy, could she be the young woman in the dreams, screaming?  Seti became upset over the thought of Neferititi being in pain.  He held his Ankh amulet close to his body, and tried to go back to sleep.
In my art class, we’ve been studying Ancient Egypt, and it inspired me to write a story. This is a brand new idea, and it’s about a young temple painter called Seti. I’m really excited about this one guys. I hope you like it. This is a brief outline before you read the introduction to the story:

When he was young, the Pharaoh, Rameses took Seti away from his mother to work in the Palace. At age 13, the Pharaoh realized Seti’s talents as a painter, and appointed him the temple painter inside and outside the palace. Seti’s job is clear: to paint the stories of those who have died onto temple walls for the God of the Underworld, Anubis to find when he claims their souls. Soon after his appointed job, Seti fell in love with the Pharaoh’s daughter, Neferititi. However, Seti knows better then to talk to her; the Pharaoh had forbidden him from ever setting eyes on royalty. After all, his mother was a slave, and Rameses had taken him away from her to spare her life for a crime she committed. Everyday, Seti looks forward to painting the walls in the palace, if can only get a glimpse of Neferititi. She often stares at him, and will often send him secret messages through tying papyrus to her cat’s collar. One day, when Seti was watching for Neferititi, he hears from a guard that the Pharaoh requests his presence in the temples. Seti does as he is asked, and a ceremony is being held for a slave the Pharaoh had killed. When Seti asks what the slave had done, the Pharaoh had told him it was a young girl who impersonated his daughter. Seti is heartbroken as he realizes his one true love is a slave, and has been killed by order of Rameses. Stricken with grief, Seti runs away to the Temple of the Sun God, Ra, to ask for help. When in the temple, he is not faced with the god he seeked, but with the God Anubis, who says he will help Seti get justice for his love. With Anubis’ help, he will become a warrior, and help defeat and cruel and unjust King of Egypt.

Keep in mind; this is a VERY brief description. If something doesn’t make sense, it will later in the story. I assure you my friends, everything will unfold! I'm trying my best to reasearch as I go, Ancient Egypt, so everything is as acurate as possible. But this is fictional after all, so I may bend the rules. If you see something I made a mistake about, and it truely bothers you, please, let me know. I welcome your critique, as always, and let me know what you think of this idea! Thankies so much.
Much Love:
[B] a b y [B] l u e s

Link for Image in Preview (found on Google image search; keyword “Anubis”) : [link]
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:iconbiicuh:
Biicuh Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
wow cool i love your histori
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:iconnashoba-lusa:
nashoba-lusa Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2008  Student General Artist
Ooo, this sounds interesting...I'll keep reading!
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:iconthebeautifulmind:
TheBeautifulMind Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2005
Awsome! its very good! i love it :D :heart:
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:iconrae-rae-666:
Rae-Rae-666 Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2005
thankies:XD:
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:iconcarriednote:
CarriedNote Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2005
My comment would have been the same about numbers. Usually, you would write them out, unless what your writing is a direct refrence to something already in numeric form, such as a street adress or page number. Other than that it was a great beginning, I can't wait for the other parts :glomp:
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:iconrae-rae-666:
Rae-Rae-666 Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2005
YEAH!:w00t: Teh Ashley:hug: Couldn't wait for your comment. Somehow, your corrections seem to make more sense:XD: It took me forever to figure out what he ment... lol. BUT I FIXED IT! Go me:D :lmao:
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:iconrae-rae-666:
Rae-Rae-666 Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2005
Oh, thank you:)

Yeah, I started reading over it after I submitted it. I had quite a few errors, actually. I fixed them though :blush: I just get to excited, and submit something before edditing it. Lol. Something I should definatly work on.

Thankies for the comment though:hug:
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:iconraithed:
Raithed Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2005  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
12/13 should be in a word form, only longer numbers should be written out as numbers. or so it seems.

Now he was 13 cant that be Now 13 instead of Now he was 13. it's like a tense problem.
Seti signed as he thought of Neferititi. signed = sighed? typo?
Seti fell in love with her almost instantly. Then, his heart became heavy. should be one sentence so there wont be any fragments?

keep working on it budd-ee. ^_^
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:iconrae-rae-666:
Rae-Rae-666 Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2005
Oh, thank you:)

Yeah, I started reading over it after I submitted it. I had quite a few errors, actually. I fixed them though:blush: I just get to excited, and submit something before edditing it. Lol. Something I should definatly work on.

Thankies for the comment though:hug:
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:iconraithed:
Raithed Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2005  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
yup. :]
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